Most days when I wake up, I definitely don’t feel like I’m 30 but here I am. Am I where I thought I would be at 30? Nope. Are any of us, really though? And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. Life doesn’t always look the way we imagined it, but that doesn’t make it any less great.
It’s been a rocky, (but awesome), 30 years and I have some thoughts. Some life advice from somebody who has learned a lot. I hope it’s useful to someone.
1. Be with Someone who makes you Happy or just be Alone
Being with the right person is going to have a huge impact on your life. Don’t waste your time with somebody who doesn’t make you happy. It’s as simple as that! Time is all we really have so spending it with the right person is going to make an enormous difference. Choose wisely, folks.
2. Screw ups are Inevitable. Deal accordingly.
Don’t freak out over every little setback. That’s a big time waster. Screw up, get up and move on.
3. Change can be great. Embrace it.
4. Tell the people you love how you feel NOW.
I have a lot of words that I didn’t get to say to a lot of people. If you care about somebody, let them know. You never know how much time you have left.
5. Life isn’t always going to be “Fair.”
People are going to get ahead faster than you. You’re going to see people who get incredibly opportunities because of who their daddy is. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still f*cking awesome, if you let it be.
6. Holding Grudges is stupid.
Cue quote: “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to be sick.”
Seriously, holding grudges is dumb. If someone hurt you, let it go. Move on.
7. If you think something kind about somebody, even a stranger, tell them. The world needs more kindness, man.
Spread kindness, even when it feels awkward. You don’t know how much you might help someone else.
8. Be who you ARE, not who you think they want you to be.
Man, this one has taken me forever to get really get a handle on. People pleasing is not going to make you happy. Telling people what they want to hear isn’t going to make you happy. Wearing what you think people want you to wear isn’t going to make you happy.
You know what will make you happy? Wearing what you LOVE. Saying exactly what you THINK. Standing up for what you BELIEVE. Being exactly who the f*ck you are, regardless of what the hell anyone else thinks. Just be yourself. Seriously, faking it is not happiness.
9. It’s okay to be scared.
While I was flying recently, I had this thought that felt like an epiphany. I used to be terrified of flying, hated being in the air without any control. Before I flew, I had completely taken myself off of all the medications I was on for anxiety. (They were slowly making me numb to the world).
After takeoff, I looked down and realized, “You know what, if this plane goes down, there’s not one damn thing I can do about it anyway. Worrying about it is only going to stress me out. I’m already up here and nothing can change that.”
I realized that it was okay that I was scared. I decided to put my trust in the pilot and the plane and just go with the fear. Sometimes, it is OKAY to be scared. We’re f*cking human. Embrace the fear.
10. Keep your mind open. The world is full of possibilities.
One of my Aunts said something that really stuck with me. She said, “There are so many ways to make money and so many ways to be happy.”
She was SO right. The world is FULL of possibilities. Try new things! Keep your mind open! Don’t close your mind to something because you haven’t tried it or because you don’t understand it. Learning is powerful. And, there are so many ways to be happy.
11. Bread is literally just carbs and in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t that good.
Then again, everything is probably okay – in moderation, of course.
12. If you don’t have one, find a passion. It’s life changing.
Something that never fails to make you smile, something that makes you WANT to be better – something that you’re never not thinking about – that’s passion. Find it. Love it. Live it.
13. If they cross your mind, even for a brief moment, reach out to the person you were thinking of.
People come and go in life. Hell, life happens. If you think about a person, reach out, if only to let them know they crossed your mind.
14. Always tip a street performer if they made you look.
It’s their thing. If you stopped to look, they earned that tip.
15. Don’t be a slave to your phone.
Seriously, if I don’t text back right away it’s because I made a promise to myself that I would not be a slave to my phone. There’s a big f*cking, beautiful world out there. Take the time to look at it.
16. TAKE PICTURES.
After almost every good night or good day, I always think, “Damn, I should’ve taken more pictures.” Don’t worry about how you think you look. TAKE THE DAMN PICTURE.
17. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. We all walk different roads, in different shoes with different music playing in our headphones.
Yep, that’s an original quote by ME. Live it.
18. Don’t fall for the whole, “It’s about time you…” bullshit. Live on your own timeline.
We’ve all gotten those uncomfortable remarks or questions. I’m talking about the ones like, “When are you getting married?”, “Isn’t it about time you settled down”, “It’s stupid to rent when you can own!”, “When are you having kids?”
Don’t live your life based on this “miracle timeline” that everybody seems to believe we should follow. Do things when you’re damn well ready.
19. Don’t blame your misfortune or lack of happiness on somebody else. That shit is on you, and you alone.
Personal accountability is PLATINUM. Own it.
20. There’s beauty everywhere. It’s okay to stop and look.
In my worst moments, thinking back, there was a beauty there. It may have been the voice on the other end of the phone telling me that everything would be okay. It might be your dog taking the time to come over and lick your face. It could be in the way the leaves blow in the wind. Things are beautiful, even when it’s dark.
21. Learn to say “no.” I would’ve saved myself a lot of stress if I had said “no” more.
22. There is nothing weak or wrong about asking for help when you need it.
Mental health is just as important as physical health. If you are struggling, ask for help. We ALL need it from time to time.
23. Money won’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a pretty awesome vacation & things that contribute to happiness.
*Shrugs*, it’s true.
24. Time is the most precious thing there is. THE MOST. Treasure it unlike anything else. All we really have, is time.
25. All you really need is one good reason.
Want to do something crazy? Ready to change everything with a move, or a leap of faith? If you have just one really, really f*cking good reason – DO IT.
26. You are going to learn something from every person you meet.
Lessons learned are valuable. Every person has something to teach.
27. Perfection is a bullshit notion. Strive for HAPPY, not perfect.
28. Walk away from negative energy.
It might hurt. Sometimes, it might hurt a lot. But, in the long run, you have to do what’s best for YOU.
29. ALWAYS call an Uber.
It’s cheap, people. Just use the Uber or Lyft. Your loved ones don’t want to go to funeral.
30. Stop being so f*cking negative.
This last piece of advice is the best one I’ve ever heard, (and listened to). The power of the mind is astronomical. Use that mind power. Don’t be negative. Positivity is platinum – learn to live with it in your pocket every single f*cking day.
There’s my 30 years of wisdom. As always, it is what it is 🙂