Resilience is powerful but sometimes, things can get under our skin. It’s human nature to be bothered by certain things but there are times when we obsess, overthink and even sabotage ourselves. It has taken me a long time to stop sweating the small stuff and I’ll admit, there are still times that it happens. And hey, that’s life. To be good at anything, we have to practice and follow through. Here are some top tips to help you become more resilient:
Optimism
Changing your thought process is no easy task. However, dwelling constantly on the negative will literally get you nowhere. You have to learn to look at things in a more optimistic manner. Sounds tough, right? Well, it is.
I used to be huge with the pessimism, always seeing only the worst in certain situations. It took a lot of time but even in the shittiest situations, there are usually good elements. You have to SEEK out the positives in every situation.
So, how do you do this?
I’m a big list person and the easiest way to train our brains to see things differently comes with repetition. Having a bad day, a bad situation, feeling stuck? Do the good old, (always solid), pros and cons list. You’ll be surprised at how many pros you can add to that list when you are REALLY looking for them. It’s all about the PROS in life.
Crossing Goals off of your List
Having goals is excellent but accomplishing those goals and being able to cross them off your list is one of the best feelings in the world. We all need to build our confidence and it’s a lifelong adventure to do that.
Stronger confidence = higher resilience.
Keep making new goals and solid plans to accomplish them. The more goals you cross off of your list, (along with the journey it takes to accomplish those goals), WILL build your resilience.
Have Solid Coping Mechanisms
We all need to have coping mechanisms that allow us, not to focus on negative emotions, but rather to release them. We are all going to go through some shit and that’s just life. (Sometimes simply accepting that will give you power that will turn into resilience over time).
Here are some positive coping mechanisms to have in your arsenal during those particularly rough times:
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Sketching, Drawing, Painting
- Talking it out with loved ones or a professional counselor
- Exercising
Always Walk Away with a Lesson
There are lessons to be learned in nearly every facet of life. Did you royally screw up a project? Take a look back, realize what DOES work versus what DOESN’T.
Even in my most trying times, there has always been a lesson to learn. Personal accountability is one of the most powerful ones and it can be learned more than once. When something goes wrong, think what you could’ve done differently and which element lead to it going wrong. There’s a lesson there if you look for it. We live and we learn.
ALWAYS walk away with a lesson, in everything.
Focus on Your Problem Solving Skills
Again, we’re all going to come face to face with problems. If our problem solving skills are for shit, there’s not going to be a positive solution in sight. You have to actively participate in solving your own problems.
It’s important to learn multiple ways to solve various problems.
Practicing with “problem solving” type games is a good way to see the multiple ways to tackle a single problem in front of you.
Have a Strong Support System
We all need people to turn to. Mentors and loved ones are great. Having positive influences in our lives boost resilience in a way few other things can. Make sure you cut out people who bring only negativity. Nobody needs that garbage in their life. However, we do need people who will call us on our bullshit! (And yes, we ALL have bullshit we need to be called out on from time to time).
Not so long ago, when I knew I wanted to be a writer full time, I took A LOT of shit. Few were supportive of it. Some even mocked it, (whether it was to my face or behind my back). Slowly, but surely, I was able to weed the people who were constantly negative about my passion out of my life. Now, those in my life are supportive and don’t drag me down. We ALL need these types of people in our lives.
Healthy Habits are freaking PARAMOUNT to Resilience
You have to nurture yourself. I forget exactly where I read this quote, but it has meant a lot to me: “You can’t drink from an empty glass. Take care of yourself first.”
Be good to yourself; mind, body and spirit.
Purpose is Strength & Strength is Resilience
Having a solid purpose in life will boost resilience. You can have multiple purposes, of course. If you know your “why”, there is more of a reason to keep going, as you have something to shoot for.
Purpose, (in all you do), will give you strength to finish and that strength will build your resilience.
Know Yourself Completely
We all have flaws and we all have strengths. There are always areas we can get better in. There are also just some things we cannot tolerate. Fully knowing yourself, and your boundaries builds resilience.
Believe in YOU
Believing in ourselves, our abilities and our willingness to take risk is the best possible thing you can do for your resilience. Learn to let the small things, (and sometimes larger things), go through the use of journaling exercises or other positive coping mechanisms.
Just believe in YOU and focus on betterment. Self improvement is a lifelong journey. Always strive to be better than yesterday 🙂
Krissy this is a wonderful article. Resilience is something that everyone (myself included) could use a little help on. Well written. Thanks for sharing!
I’m reading The 12 Week Year right now and one of the key points is that having a clear vision and a firm understanding of your ‘why’ is vital for achieving your goals. I know it’s definitely something I need to work more on since it can help you achieve goals AND help you get through hard times like you said.
I needed this post today! I have had a day chalked full of things that have stressed me out and really didn’t need to! Thank you for sharing <3
I’m so glad you found it helpful 🙂
I love this post! I agree that it’s super important to always walk away with a lesson. That’s a good mentality to have when you’re dealing with failures. Failures are just lessons.
Very well put and very true. You got to face everything with a smile and not sweat every little thing
Great article. I sometimes think we forgot about alot of these things. I always have a list of goals and keep adding to it. You should always give it your all. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Great post! I really like the idea of always walking away with a lesson. One thing I learned from my husband (who always has a great attitude) is to avoid expectations and entitlement to things turning out a certain way- that has helped me keep an open mind and let things go.
These are such great tips! I want to pick a favorite, but all of them are so helpful. I’m definitely a – sweat the small stuff – kinda person. Thanks for these ideas 🙂
I’m so glad I found your blogsite! This is a wonderful article and I love all the graphics you used! Well done.
I’m happy you found it helpful, Beth 🙂
So true!
I still struggle with pessimism but I’m getting better! Talking to my boyfriend always helps and knowing that it’s my life and I get to decide what I want to do with it, really helps. Knowing who are and being confident about it really helps with being resilient. Thanks for the tips!
Erika Marie | https://imerikamarie.com
Love all these! Literally was just talking about this type of stuff with a coworker!!
Optimism makes a huge difference!
It really does!
It is so important to arm ourselves with positive and effective coping mechanisms in order to allow ourselves to overcome anything that life may throw our way. You’ve got some great suggestions here!
Thanks, Britt 🙂
I love that confidence equals more resilience. I need to try some of your positive coping mechanisms.
I’m a list person too! There’s nothing more satisfying than crossing items off your to do list!!
This is such a great post! I can definitely be resilient, but it takes me a while. I tend to spiral and panic first, so working on my problem solving is certainly something I should think about. Any time spent worrying is time wasted, really.
Yes to all of these tips to being resilient! I think that it is so important that we are able to take lessons away from situations that did not go as we had planned. I love making lists and there is something satisfying about crossing them off… I see someone else above me said the same thing! I also agree that having healthy habits is important to resilience because it puts you in a place to be able to handle stressful times much more effectively and the stress does not have as big of an effect because we are able to withstand it if our bodies are stronger!
Hey, found you through the Bloggers Camp Facebook group. Great post. A lot of these are the ‘common sense’ tips that we end up forgetting or neglecting to follow…so it was good to get a reminder of why it’s important. I find if I skip making my to-do lists for a while, I’m left paralysed by all the tasks on my plate! Simply putting it down on paper gives me clarity and purpose. Also, loved the infographic at the end!
Great suggestions! I’ve been learning this too. I love “always walk away with a lesson”!
I really needed these tips because I am defiantly someone who sweats the small stuff.
This is the best thing I’ve read all morning! I love your perspective and these are amazing tips. Thank you. I’d love to connect with you either through e-mail or instagram! @thebeardlesscoffee
Thanks, Melinda! Go ahead and shoot me an email! Would love to connect too! Have a great evening 🙂
Hey Krissy! I do hope that you are doing well, I just wanted to leave you a comment here just to let you know that, this post was definitely uplighting by far and something that I will be coming back to, just to read it lol!! Now I am going to be nosey and have a look around!!
Fantastic blog
Thanks Leon 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
Hey, it’s just me again I forgot to add my site when I posted my first comment lmao!!
thanks for sharing this.. very helpful at this time esp that i’m a little bit down.
These are great tips! At the end of the day we need to believe in ourselves for sure! thanks for sharing!
I love have actionable these tips are and how we can start using them right away!! Thanks girl!