Resilience is powerful but sometimes, things can get under our skin. It’s human nature to be bothered by certain things but there are times when we obsess, overthink and even sabotage ourselves. It has taken me a long time to stop sweating the small stuff and I’ll admit, there are still times that it happens. And hey, that’s life. To be good at anything, we have to practice and follow through. Here are some top tips to help you become more resilient:
Changing your thought process is no easy task. However, dwelling constantly on the negative will literally get you nowhere. You have to learn to look at things in a more optimistic manner. Sounds tough, right? Well, it is.
I used to be huge with the pessimism, always seeing only the worst in certain situations. It took a lot of time but even in the shittiest situations, there are usually good elements. You have to SEEK out the positives in every situation.
So, how do you do this?
I’m a big list person and the easiest way to train our brains to see things differently comes with repetition. Having a bad day, a bad situation, feeling stuck? Do the good old, (always solid), pros and cons list. You’ll be surprised at how many pros you can add to that list when you are REALLY looking for them. It’s all about the PROS in life.
Crossing Goals off of your List
Having goals is excellent but accomplishing those goals and being able to cross them off your list is one of the best feelings in the world. We all need to build our confidence and it’s a lifelong adventure to do that.
Stronger confidence = higher resilience.
Keep making new goals and solid plans to accomplish them. The more goals you cross off of your list, (along with the journey it takes to accomplish those goals), WILL build your resilience.
Have Solid Coping Mechanisms
We all need to have coping mechanisms that allow us, not to focus on negative emotions, but rather to release them. We are all going to go through some shit and that’s just life. (Sometimes simply accepting that will give you power that will turn into resilience over time).
Here are some positive coping mechanisms to have in your arsenal during those particularly rough times:
- Sketching, Drawing, Painting
- Talking it out with loved ones or a professional counselor
Always Walk Away with a Lesson
There are lessons to be learned in nearly every facet of life. Did you royally screw up a project? Take a look back, realize what DOES work versus what DOESN’T.
Even in my most trying times, there has always been a lesson to learn. Personal accountability is one of the most powerful ones and it can be learned more than once. When something goes wrong, think what you could’ve done differently and which element lead to it going wrong. There’s a lesson there if you look for it. We live and we learn.
ALWAYS walk away with a lesson, in everything.
Focus on Your Problem Solving Skills
Again, we’re all going to come face to face with problems. If our problem solving skills are for shit, there’s not going to be a positive solution in sight. You have to actively participate in solving your own problems.
It’s important to learn multiple ways to solve various problems.
Practicing with “problem solving” type games is a good way to see the multiple ways to tackle a single problem in front of you.
Have a Strong Support System
We all need people to turn to. Mentors and loved ones are great. Having positive influences in our lives boost resilience in a way few other things can. Make sure you cut out people who bring only negativity. Nobody needs that garbage in their life. However, we do need people who will call us on our bullshit! (And yes, we ALL have bullshit we need to be called out on from time to time).
Not so long ago, when I knew I wanted to be a writer full time, I took A LOT of shit. Few were supportive of it. Some even mocked it, (whether it was to my face or behind my back). Slowly, but surely, I was able to weed the people who were constantly negative about my passion out of my life. Now, those in my life are supportive and don’t drag me down. We ALL need these types of people in our lives.
Healthy Habits are freaking PARAMOUNT to Resilience
You have to nurture yourself. I forget exactly where I read this quote, but it has meant a lot to me: “You can’t drink from an empty glass. Take care of yourself first.”
Be good to yourself; mind, body and spirit.
Purpose is Strength & Strength is Resilience
Having a solid purpose in life will boost resilience. You can have multiple purposes, of course. If you know your “why”, there is more of a reason to keep going, as you have something to shoot for.
Purpose, (in all you do), will give you strength to finish and that strength will build your resilience.
Know Yourself Completely
We all have flaws and we all have strengths. There are always areas we can get better in. There are also just some things we cannot tolerate. Fully knowing yourself, and your boundaries builds resilience.
Believe in YOU
Believing in ourselves, our abilities and our willingness to take risk is the best possible thing you can do for your resilience. Learn to let the small things, (and sometimes larger things), go through the use of journaling exercises or other positive coping mechanisms.
Just believe in YOU and focus on betterment. Self improvement is a lifelong journey. Always strive to be better than yesterday 🙂