We all have moments where we doubt ourselves. If we aren’t careful, self-doubt can take over and keep us far from where we want to be in our lives. I’ve talked to a lot of people regarding self-doubt and realized how much it can truly hinder us and those we love. Luckily, there are some pretty boss ways to deal with self-doubt.
Here are some seriously epic ways to deal with self-doubt:
Picture someone you love in your place
This exercise is an excellent way to crush self-doubt. Picture a person you love or admire in your scenario. What would you say to them? Would you offer encouragement or the same words of self-doubt you are feeding yourself? I’m guessing you would go straight for encouragement.
Recall this saying: “If you could only see yourself through someone else’s eyes.” That is precisely what this exercise aims to do.
The harsh critiques and judgement we put on ourselves are likely nothing like what we would say to somebody else or even think.
Get visual. Picture a person who is important to you in your place. What would you say to them? What type of advice would you offer? This is truly a powerful exercise to combat self-doubt.
Tell that inner critic to shut the f*ck up
I know, it sounds a lot easier than it actually is but it’s what needs to happen. If we let that inner critic start, it’s going to run circles around you. You need to silence it before it becomes louder than your confidence.
Control negative thoughts before they spin out of control. Combat them with meditation and positive thinking. Instead of worrying about what can go wrong, list what could go RIGHT.
Make Lists for Clarity
Worried about what could go wrong in those moments of self-doubt? Write it out. Make lists but don’t dwell too much on the negative. Have a serious action plan, (yep, step-by-step is the way to go). With “to-do” steps and contingency plans, you are able to gain more clarity about the actuality of the situation.
Have multiple lists like: back-up plans, step-by-step to do’s to meet an end goal, action steps in place for IF something goes wrong, lists of what can go RIGHT and so on.
Keeping a journal and making lists will give you clarity you otherwise wouldn’t have. It’s an excellent way to see things as they really are instead of how our self-doubt would have them portrayed in our minds.
Nobody Really Cares
That sounds bad on the first read, but hear me out. A lot of self-doubt comes from the worry of what others will think. Seriously, nobody really cares. (Unless you have a psycho situation in which case, YOU shouldn’t care).
There aren’t people constantly monitoring every move we make, even though it can feel that way sometimes. Remember that is not reality, that is your self-doubt talking. There aren’t people waiting to see what you do next. Life is all-consuming and we all have our own thing going on.
So, if you are worried about what people are going to say or think, remind yourself: NOBODY REALLY CARES. And, if there is someone out there logging your every move, they are the one with the issue – not you.
Positive Energy is Paramount – in ALL things
If you surround yourself with positive energy, you will be truly surprised at how much it will change your life. Your inner critic, AKA self-doubt, thrives on negativity. The more stress, negativity and toxic energy in your life, the more power that self-doubt will have.
Things to ditch immediately:
- Toxic People (I’m talking about the constant complainers, the narcissists, the people who like to put you down – ditch them.)
- Things that cause procrastination (Mobile games, overusing social media…)
- Unnecessary financial stress (services you don’t use)
- Anything that reminds you of a negative time in your life
Basically, kick ALL bad vibes to the curb and don’t look back.
Positive elements to keep prevalent in your life, daily:
- A good Routine
- People who make you happy
- A fantastic playlist
- Good Scents
- Products that help keep you organized (a planner, file cabinet, good shelving systems…)
- Art that makes you happy
- Photos of Good times
- Food & Drink that brings joy (Tea, coffee, healthy snacks…)
Find out what makes you incredibly happy and keep those elements around you all the time. Nothing quiets self-doubt quite like happiness and contentment.
Never stop Learning
Knowledge is power. The more you learn, the more you build your confidence. Confidence will silence self-doubt. Always keep an open mind and allow yourself to learn new things, even if some of those things are outside of your comfort zone.
Detours are Okay
Remember the picture you had in your mind as a child? Hell, I wanted to be a veterinarian. That didn’t happen and that’s okay. The truth is, I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do until I was about 25, (incidentally, that’s when our brains become fully developed. Coincidence? I think not).
The point is, detours are okay. Sometimes, they can be the best thing that has ever happened to us. We do live and learn. The road we want to see ourselves on may not be the end road that will ultimately make us the happiest.
If you decide to go “off book”, that’s fine. You might find that detour leads you to a better place. Don’t get discouraged. Let yourself learn as you go!
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of ourselves can be super easy to neglect. We cannot be fully confident in ourselves unless we are taken care of. Nourish yourself physically (exercise, getting out in nature), mentally (reading, journaling) and spiritually. Ensure that you are making time for YOU. Self-care is paramount to happiness & confidence.
Talking about big moves with the people we love and admire is a great way to limit self-doubt and expand on your confidence. As I’ve mentioned, we don’t see ourselves the same as others do and a third-party opinion is usually always helpful.
Talk to your loved ones. Discuss your concerns and just through the process of talking, a lot of your worries will lessen. Sometimes, we just need to get things off of our chests.
Allow yourself to see the situation from multiple perspectives
Allow yourself to see the bigger picture. Ensure that you understand, step-by-step, how to accomplish larger goals as well as smaller ones. Make sure that you are looking at multiple angles so that you can silence that pesky self-doubt.
Ask yourself questions like:
- Am I overthinking?
- What steps can I take IF something doesn’t pan out?
- Am I seeing things as they really are?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if I do fail? Would that really be so bad?
- What have I learned from past situations?
Asking the right questions from all the different angles will help you quiet self-doubt and gain the confidence you need to push forward.
Progress over Perfection
I love the quote: You don’t have to go fast, you just have to go.
Understand that moving forward, in anything, will help build your confidence. Always strive for progress over perfection. Nothing is really perfect. Even small steps should count as a win.
A leap of faith…
You always hear people saying, “Have faith.” The best thing you can do for yourself is to have faith, in yourself. Use the proper exercises to move past self-doubt and build your confidence. Use affirmations. Journal. Make step-by-step plans. And, most importantly, take that leap of faith – In YOURSELF.