We have all worried about doing something due to the fear of what others will think. On some level, we all care what people think and that doesn’t always have to be a bad thing but, at times, it can be counterproductive and downright unhealthy. It’s been said that all people wear 3 masks, (one they show the world, one they show those closest to them and the one they show only to themselves). I believe this to be true. I also believe that we all need to be more true to ourselves and let go of the worry that comes with caring too much about what other people think.
So many of us hold back aspects of ourselves because we are worried about what other people think. This is a great rule to live by: If you aren’t harming yourself or anyone else, what you’re doing is likely alright.
That being said, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve held back, or not pursued something because I was worried about what people would say. Then I really thought about it – why was I SO worried? The people I was worried about being negative about me really didn’t have a place in my life, therefore their opinions shouldn’t mean a damn thing.
Over the past year, I’ve come a long way. I’ve accepted a lot of things and realized what does matter versus what doesn’t. I knew I needed to worry a hell of a lot less about what people thought and I think a lot of people need to do the same.
I’ve compiled some reasons and tips that are about learning to care less about what other people think and embrace what you love, your interests and yourself, completely. Here they are:
The perfect person does not exist. Perfection is an illusion and every single person on earth has flaws & makes mistakes.
I think sometimes we get these images in our minds of what we consider to be perfection. We begin comparing ourselves to others and then the spiraling begins. Those comparisons are dangerous because they can do so much damage to your self esteem. Nobody is perfect, nor does anybody have a perfect life, (despite what they might portray to the outside world).
Look, we all make mistakes. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t learn a damn thing. The first step in learning to worry less about what people think is to let go of this idea of perfection, and that there are people are there who are without faults. THEY DO NOT EXIST.
Perfectionism is a total illusion. Let that ideology go.
The most judgmental people you will come across are the least happy in their own lives.
I used to know this girl who did nothing but talk shit. We all know a person like this. Nothing anyone did was up to her standards, but she wasn’t the unicorn – she wasn’t perfect.
And, it took me a long time to realize how truly miserable she was with her own life. Her judgments about other people weren’t about them – they were about her and her need to deflect.
It’s true that everyone, at some point, judges. We all do it. BUT – the most negative people who constantly judge others and their choices are the least happy people you know. They are also pretty damn toxic and better left in your past.
Not ALL opinions are important, not in the least.
Again, we all have opinions about everything. People are going to have opinions about you. But, which of these opinions really matter? Well, I’ll tell you. The only opinions that matter are the ones that come from people who genuinely care about you.
You shouldn’t give a single flying f*ck about what some person you knew a long time ago thinks about you. That person is irrelevant in your life. That person who passive aggressively mocks you on social media who you never see in real life sucks and their opinion shouldn’t have f*ck all to do with how you live your life. The old lady at the gas station giving you dirty looks doesn’t mean a damn thing in your life. Stop giving power to people who do not matter in your life.
People who genuinely care about you, the ones who are there for you and support you – their opinions matter, (usually). The ones who really care about you and your well-being can have opinions that are most likely for your benefit. For example, if a close friend tells you that you should maybe reevaluate your relationship with another person – maybe take a look at that. They might be onto something!
Choose wisely which opinions matter to you. (The opinions said behind your back, by the way, should never matter. Those people are cowardly and lame).
Be able to take constructive criticism, but don’t let opinions of toxic people, or irrelevant people mean anything to you. Consider some opinions of those who care about you and forget the rest.
You can’t make everyone happy.
Boy, isn’t this the truth…
Accepting that no matter what you do, there are always going to be people who don’t like you is a great lesson to learn as early as possible. Being a people-pleaser isn’t going to bring you happiness.
Not everyone is going to understand you, get you or like you. Accepting that is essential! And you know what, it’s completely okay! You don’t need them.
Know what is most important to you.
Basically, know what it’s important and what isn’t. We are all so different which is what makes us interesting. Really think about what’s important to YOU.
Having your own values set in stone will allow you to care a hell of a lot less what other people think. Stay true to yourself.
Keep improving yourself, always.
Always have a set of goals to accomplish. Not only will this keep your mind from worrying what other people think – it’s healthy.
We can ALL always be better. Learn new things, try new things and keep bettering yourself. This will boost your self confidence and allow insignificant opinions to mean less and less over time.
Think about this: What’s the worst thing that could actually happen because someone has a negative opinion about you?
This one was HUGE for me! When you’re worrying about what other people think about you – ask yourself what’s the worst that can come out of this?
Seriously. Probably nothing.
We are all going to encounter negative opinions and for the most part – it doesn’t matter one damn bit. It will not effect you unless you allow it to. So, the worst thing that will happen, is you’ll be worrying about it. No other aspect of your life will actually be altered by the opinion of another person.
Ultimately, it’s YOUR life.
Lastly, but most importantly, the life you are living is yours and yours alone. If you are healthy, happy and not harming yourself or others – keep doing what you’re doing. Do what you love. Indulge your interests, (even the weird ones). Always keep striving to be better. Chase your dreams. Do exactly what YOU want to do with YOUR life. Stop letting your fear of what people think about you stop you from doing what you love 🙂
The bottom line is, if you’re happy and content – that is truly all the matters.
(All gifs from giphy)
You are right. We are not perfect and we need to accept it. We cannot make everyone happy so we need to make ourselves happy.
Thanks Deborah! Letting go of the idea of “perfection” is so freeing 🙂 Making ourselves happy should be the first priority, always!
Such a good post and everything you said is so, so, true! I’ve always said that those who are most critical of us are usually those that are just jealous.
Thanks Colleen! It is very true that critical people are usually very unhappy and likely jealous 🙂
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