As you’ve probably realized by now, if you’ve been following this blog: I LOVE horror movies. They can disturb us, give us “jump scares” and sometimes leave lasting images with us that will always haunt our dreams. But – that isn’t all horror movies have done. They’ve also taught us some lessons. Most horror movies can stand as a definitive guide of what not to do in a certain situation. Since it’s Friday the 13th, here are all the things that we’ve learned from horror movies:
Don’t Split Up
Why is it that whenever something creepy goes down, most groups first idea is to “split up”? We’ve seen this in countless horror flicks and it always proves to be a really, really bad idea. When some scary shit is going down – DON’T SPLIT UP. Stay together people! Power in numbers!!
Don’t Mess with the Ouija Board!
This has always proved to be a BAD idea in nearly every movie it’s presented in. Just don’t mess with it. Either you’re going to get a ghost hell-bent on trolling you to scare you half to death or something even worse…
In fact, don’t touch anything that looks sketchy…
Don’t read the Latin aloud. Don’t touch that creepy doll in the corner and don’t attempt to solve some archaic looking puzzle. NOTHING GOOD COMES OF IT…EVER!
One of many lessons learned in “Zombieland”: always double tap! The killer/creature will usually always come back for a final scare unless the characters are 100% positive they’re dead. Double tap. Always overkill the monsters.
Always Grab a weapon.
So many characters walk past perfectly usable weapons. Ugh! If you’re being stalked by a psycho killer, pick up a weapon!
Don’t buy the “Murdery House”.
Do your research before you buy a house. This mistake has been made by many now-dead horror movie characters. Yeah, the Amityville house looks cool, but do you really want to deal with some demonic monsters telling you to kill each other? Ummm…didn’t think so.
Beware the children…
Children in horror movies have a way of being…well, creep as hell. If a kid begins acting psycho, (mini-Michael Myers Level) – get the hell out of there. Most kids in horror movies = danger children.
Hitch-hikers are risky business.
This is actually a more real life type of scary. Hitch-hikers might be psychos. Or, the person who picks you up hitchhiking might be a serial killer. Just avoid any all things hitchhiking to play it safe.
Don’t go investigating risky shit..
Ugh, every freaking time. If you hear a strange noise, don’t get check it out – at least not alone. Investigating risky noises or legends just doesn’t seem to end well for over half of all horror movie characters. Leave the odd noises be!
Trust the Locals!
If the dude missing all his teeth at the gas station says to stay away from a certain road: stay away from it! If a elderly blind woman says there is trouble ahead – listen to her! Trust the locals, people. They know where the risky places around them are. A lot of horror movie scenarios simply wouldn’t have happened, had the characters listened to a cryptic warning from a stranger…
Don’t Answer Unknown Numbers.
Think any of the Scream movies or “When a stranger calls.” Don’t answer unknown numbers. It may be a psycho.
Babysitting may not be the best side hustle…
Babysitters really have bad luck in horror movies. If you’re thinking of babysitting, maybe think about doing something else..
Babysitters are usually the target of movie monsters..
When in doubt…know your way out!
Yes I know, another Zombieland quote. But hey, if you’re going to go into that allegedly haunted asylum, you should probably take note of every exit. When all else fails, running is probably your best option, (just don’t trip).
Trust your Instincts, people.
In horror movies, we always hear one or more characters saying they, “have a bad feeling”, or “this doesn’t feel right.” In horror movies, nobody really listens to that person. Trust your instincts.
Here is a video I created, (before I knew that pesky watermark would be there):
I’ll be creating a better video – without the annoying watermark. But until there, here is a hilarious Horror movie Parody I came across one night:
I LOVE this video, lol.
Anyway, enjoy your Friday everyone! Since it’s the 13th, beware all the classic horror movie mistakes!