17 Tips to Build Self Confidence

I see so many posts online regarding low self-esteem and it honestly breaks my heart. You – yes, YOU, you have so much to offer and you may not even realize it. Through media and such, I think there is this crazy, unattainable vision of utter perfection. The truth: NOBODY is perfect. If you’re struggling with low self-esteem/lacking self confidence, here are some tips to help you build self confidence:

1. Focus on the Positives

Instead of picking yourself apart, like so many people tend to do – focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Focus on your strengths; things that you are good at. Think about parts of yourself you LOVE. Some examples of positive aspects to think about:

  • Skills that you have
  • Parts of your body that you love
  • Physical Activities you’re good at
  • Knowledge that you have
  • Things that make you unique
  • Positive impacts you’ve had on others
  • Times you overcame hardships

2. Stop the “Comparison Contest”

We have all had moments where we compare ourselves to others. “Look at Holly, she has been a size 2 since high school!” – Stop the comparison contest! Don’t worry about Elliot’s promotion! Don’t dwell on a friend’s seemingly perfect relationship. Be happy for the accomplishments of those around you but STOP comparing yourself to them. This isn’t a You VS. everyone else arena. Focus on yourself and stop comparing! We are all in different skin & different shoes, each of which is unique.

3. Achievement List

Take out a notebook and write down your achievements! Recognize even the smallest of achievements. What have you accomplished that you’re proud of? Write it down! You made it an extra 10 minutes on the treadmill? – Write it down! Did you finish a project you thought seemed impossible in that moment? – Write it down! Literally acknowledging any goals/accomplishments you’ve achieved is a definite confidence boost. Often, we overlook the good because we spend too much time dwelling on what we didn’t do. Take a moment and write down all the things you did do. 

4. Take Care of Yourself

Practice self-care! Always strive to “level up” when it comes to YOU. You can’t feel confident when you’re not taking care of yourself. Here are some great, simple Self Care Ideas.

5. Dress for YOU

Don’t put so much stock in what other people think of you, especially when it comes to fashion. Wear what makes you feel the best! Have your own personal style and ignore the opinions of others. Dress for yourself! What clothing makes you feel the most comfortable? WEAR THAT! A big part of confidence comes from feeling comfortable in our skin & our clothes.

6. End “The Procrastination Game”

Set realistic goals and get them done! You can do it! Achieving goals and crossing items of your list will help improve your confidence dramatically. Make goal lists often and take steps to cross them off the list.

7. Keep a Positive Circle

Ditch all the negative people in your life – they are toxic and not worth the stress they add. Be around positive people, the ones who make you feel good.

8. Kindness is Key

Treat others the way you want to be treated. Sounds cheesy, right? Well, the truth is that being kind towards those around you will actually do wonders for your own self confidence. Always strive to be kind. 🙂

9. Be a “Knowledge Sponge”

Take in any all types of knowledge. There’s a ton of it out there. Be a sponge. Self confidence improves when we know what we are talking about. Never stop learning. Hear an interesting fact? Store it in the “brain vault.” Knowledge = Confidence.

10. Be more Active

Exercise is a great way to build confidence. If some of your self esteem issues stem from body image – get fit! Exercise will not only make you healthier and fit – it’ll also makes you happier overall while building confidence! 🙂

11. Identify what matters MOST to you

What are your morals? What causes, characteristics and relationships mean the most to you. Knowing exactly what you believe and what you want will boost your confidence because you won’t be questioning yourself so much. Get to know #1 and live by your values.

12. Be Grateful

Writing down things that make you happy, (what you’re grateful for), will help you focus on the positives of life. This is a great way to be more confident. Positive thinking will do wonders for your self esteem and allow you to see the positives in a brighter light.

13. Set Healthy Boundaries

If someone is making you feel bad, let them know it! Don’t take negativity lying down. Set healthy boundaries with people in your life. You’re not a doormat and one of the best things you can do is learn to say “no” when your lines are being crossed or if someone is taking advantage of you. Let people know exactly how they make you feel and make no assumptions. Make it clear!

14. Welcome Challenges

Whatever comes your way, know that you are able to deal with it. Look at challenges in a different light, as a way to increase your confidence. Take obstacles as they come and once you’ve hopped over an obstacle, congratulate yourself for it – celebrate! Be open to trying new things and taking new approaches.

15. Accept your own Mistakes

Hey, we are all only human. Humans make mistakes! Acknowledge when you’re wrong, accept it and move on! Don’t dwell on mistakes. Focus on what you can do to not make that same mistake in the future.

16. Silence your Inner Critic

Negative self talk can really break down your confidence. This sort of goes back to being more positive and comparing yourself to others. Don’t judge yourself so harshly. Like I mentioned, we are only human! Don’t let your inner critic bring you down, (we all have one). Learn how to silence that part of yourself and replace it with an “inner fan”, a voice that is positive and cheers you on when you need it most.

17. Affirmations

I mention affirmations a lot because they work. Find some good ones and repeat them, either aloud or in your head to really be in a positive mindsetHere are some affirmations for those suffering from Anxiety. I will be adding more posts containing positive affirmation you can use daily to help build confidence so keep checking back!

Final Thoughts:

Building self confidence can take some time, especially if you’ve struggled with self esteem issues. The main points to focus on are: take good care of yourself, stay positive and always keep pushing forward. 🙂 Know that you CAN be more confident.

Best Wishes <3

Krissy October is a professional freelance writer, aspiring novelist and knowledge nerd who is dedicated to consistent self-improvement and finding clever ways to solve everyday problems.


  1. I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays..

    • Hi Ronnie. I use a free theme that I customized.

  2. This is great. I am about to do a speech for a women’s group on What’s holding You Back and would love your permission to incorporate some of this into my speech. Thanks.

    Life is Wonderful

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